Exercising is dangerous

Just another reason why you won't see my flabby ass out jogging:

Jogger runs mile with rabid fox locked on her arm

PRESCOTT, Ariz. — Authorities in Arizona say a jogger attacked by a rabid fox ran a mile with the animal's jaws clamped on her arm and then drove herself to a hospital. The Yavapai County sheriff's office said the woman told deputies she was on a trail near Prescott on Monday when the fox attacked and bit her foot.

She said she grabbed the fox by the neck when it went for her leg but it bit her arm.

The woman wanted the animal tested for rabies so she ran a mile to her car with the fox still biting her arm, then pried it off and tossed it in her trunk and drove to the Prescott hospital.

The sheriff's office says the fox later bit an animal control officer. He and the woman are both receiving rabies vaccinations.

Republicans get a kick to the balls

Sarah Palin is holding a rally at the park two blocks from my house. My neighborhood is cluttered with the cars of Republicans.

My husband and neighbor rode their bikes over to the stadium just as Palin was taking the stage. She began talking about energy.

Palin claimed that she and John McCain were going to drill, baby, drill.

To which the large crowd shouted, "Drill, Baby, Drill!" over and over again.

Really? Because 'the hell?

Margaret had piano lesson today and traffic in our normally uber quiet neighborhood was really busy. I reminded her to be extra careful crossing the street because the Republicans were all over the place.

Mar said, "What? Who are the Republicans? Are they going to get me?"

I assured her that they were probably not out to get her, but to be extra careful crossing the street.

Mar shouted, "Well, if they do try to get me, can I kick 'em in the balls and run away?"

My reply, "Of course, honey, just like if the Germans are trying to get you."

I think it's good for a child to have a healthy fear of Republicans and Germans.

Where did they all go?

Where have all the Paul Newman's gone?

But at least she didn't drink and drive

Texas police say 12-year-old girl drove mom to bar

LONGVIEW, Texas — A 35-year-old Texas woman has been jailed after police say she made her 12-year-old daughter drive her to a bar. Police in Longview say they watched a minivan turn into a driveway without signaling on Wednesday and bump into a home at a low speed. They say the car was driven by Jennifer Lynn Rosenberg's daughter.

Police say the girl told an officer she had just dropped her mother off at a bar. They say they found Rosenburg at the bar and that she admitted having her daughter drive her there.

Rosenburg remains in the Gregg County Jail on a $2,500 bond. A jail official declined to say whether she had an attorney.

A spokeswoman for Child Protective Services told the Longview News-Journal that the agency is investigating.

But isn't that why we have kids? To drive us to and from the bar?

Wha'?