How did that get there?

With an almost serious face, Bill said, "I've got a problem. While I was in the bathroom at Scott and Laurena's, I found a lump."

My jaw dropped as Bill giggled and began to pull down his pants.

I was getting really freaked out until I saw the "lump" for myself.

There, all matted in his man fur near the bottom of his junk was a wad of chewing gum.

He asked me, "How did it get there?"

Like I'd put it there for safe keeping or something.

Then he says, "And it hurts when I pull on it."

No, really? That surprised me that pulling on a wad of chewing gum stuck in his pubes would be uncomfortable.

I began to chortle as I dug out a pair of scissors. Then in between guffaws, I carefully (really carefully) clipped away the glob of chewed gum, but not before Bill said, "Do you wanna take a picture of it first?"

I know it's shocking, but I declined ... my mom reads this, fer Pete's sake!