Wednesday, March 21, 2007

An open letter to the Japanese guy

Dear Japanese guy with the spiky hair sitting a couple rows in front of us on the plane Friday,

You're welcome.

For what, you ask?

For saving you from probable neck injury and possible paralysis when I threw all concern for my own safety to the wind and caught that dangerous carry-on before is smacked you on top of the head. I torqued my upper body perfectly in order to grab that heavy piece of luggage just as it grazed your nicely coiffed hair, thereby, assuring you a good flight, instead of a trip to the emergency room.

Like, I said before, you're welcome. It's the least I could do considering it was my bag and I was the one who let it go before it was carefully stowed in the overhead compartment just above your delicate cranium.

Yes, I realize that you were just sitting there quietly, not encouraging anyone to bludgeon you with their luggage, but I could've saved my rock-starself and let it ker-plop your skull like a ripe melon. I didn't. So, you're welcome.

I know, I know, I'm so kind and considerate — it's just one of my many magnanimous character traits. So, I'll just sit here and suffer from the horrendous spasms in my own neck, happy to know that yours is OK.

I would suggest, however, that next time you wear a hardhat and duck when you see me coming with luggage.

Yours in neck pain,
rivetergirl

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