Open Letters

Dear Migraine Headache:

I don't mean to be rude, but I hate you! (And I truly do mean that exclamation point! ... and that one, too.) Actually, you deserve my rudeness.

I mean, really, what is the deal? Why do you have to be all coming back day after day burrowing your insidious self into my head and nagging every fiber of my being?

I waited as long as I could last night to take my last migraine pill, fighting waves of nausea like a crab boat on the Behring Sea (OK, maybe I do watch too much of "The Deadliest Catch"), to assure that I wouldn't be dealing with you again today — yet here you are, beating your drum over and over and over again, pounding that one spot just above my eye.

But you know that it's these kinds of migraines that get to me the worst, the ones that turn every thing I do into an excruciating exercise in will power and determination just to function like a normal person.

These are the migraines that grind me down and force me into submission, leaving me a sobbing heap on the floor wondering, "Why me?" in that pathetic way that I loathe.

When you've left and I feel like a normal person again, I joke that I get migraines because I'm a bad person. But when you've settled into your routine of punishment, I can't imagine what I could ever possibly do to deserve this torture.

What ever the reason, enough is enough. Leave already. Or at least subside until my next batch of pills come in the mail, so I have some kind of protection from your evilness. I'd much rather deal with the horrible side effects from the medication than from your pervasive pain.

Oh and you can kiss my third ass.

I've had enough,
RiveterGirl

Dear pharmaceutical manufacturers:

What in the hell do you put in migraine medications, like MaxAlt, Zomig, Imitrex, etc., that makes it cost almost $20 a pill? Gold? Titanium? Moon dust?

And since it costs more than most illegal drugs, why can't you package it so that poor saps like me can buy it a couple pills at a time?

Cut us poor migraine sufferers some slack already.

Really, make your money off Viagra.

Fer crying out loud,
RiveterGirl