Where the hell did I go?

I was looking at my Google reader this morning and I saw that someone out there had "starred" this post.

I remember writing that post and how it made some people uncomfortable with all the below the waist references and what not. But I just re-read that post and this post that was linked within it.

And you know what? Those posts were funny and edgy and nothing like the scrapple I've been writing lately.

What has happened to me? Where did all my funny go?

I know things have been changed in and around my life, but people still laugh at me and with me in many conversations. Just this last weekend on my band's trip to Moab, we laughed ourselves silly several times.

The girls drove to Moab separately from the boys and we were witnessed walking in a row like Shaggy from Scooby Doo to the bathroom at a rest stop somewhere on I-70. And we laughed over it.

We laughed over the uber hilarious things that our dear friend Tracee said Saturday night.

Japanese ice tea. Dinny's. "My eyes are up here!"

Holy crap we laughed our asses off.

But now I realize that all those things were other people's funnies ... OK it was my idea to walk like Shaggy. So maybe all my funny isn't quite gone yet.

How does one replenish their funny?

At least I look good at the resort bar

As I suggested Friday night, I got myself a brand, spankin' new set of skis, bindings and boots.

I wasn't in the market for my own gear, but I can't resist a killer deal — and really, did you see those skis? They're gorgeous and way nicer that I should probably have (considering my propensity for breaking and/or losing my stuff), but "75 percent off" is a discount that should not be passed on willy nilly.

Thank goodness for local sporting good retailer Gene Taylor's. They are head and shoulders better than those big-box chains whose employees clock in and clock out. At Gene Taylor's you get customer service and a good price. Plus did I mention 75 percent off, because what bargain hunter can resist that?

And it wasn't just me scoring killer deals, but our dear friends, Scott and Laurena jumped on the great deals, too.

So we were thrilled that on Friday and Saturday our local resort got a couple inches of the white stuff which we dutifully skied Sunday.

Margaret had an epic day on the mountain.

Her first run down the bunny hill saw her on a path through the trees that ended in a smallish bump, off of which she caught air ... and landed. On her last ride up the lift she was "clomping" her skis together and one fell off. But worry not, she ended up getting a ride down the hill on a snowmobile.

Both of those things and most of the stuff in between delighted her to no end. I don't think I've ever seen Margaret grin ear to ear for so long before.

The only sobering part of the day is that I came to the realization that my 8-year-old is now a better skier than I am.

At least my skis are nicer!

Why cottage industries rock

I believe in being up front about what I need and want in my marriage. It makes things a lot easier when I don't have to rely on Bill's mind-reading skills.

Years ago, I plainly told Bill that cards and flowers are nice, but what I really wanted for Valentine's Day was a box of chocolate nuts and chews.

And guess what? Every year, I've been lavished with flowers and a nice big box of Enstrom's chocolates.

Awesome.

This year since I'm still trying to lose weight in my office's Biggest Loser challenge, I told him to skip the candy.

He did.

Awesome.

Instead he got me a pair of custom earrings from my favorite jewelry maker, Cari at Wired Originals.


Even more awesome.

Bill's smart that way.

You probably noticed that there's just one earring there. Click over here to read what happened and why cottage industries kick so many kinds of ass.

Duped

So I've been urging y'all to hurry and get your t-shirthell.com t-shirts before they went out of business and guess what?

I, like many other people, were duped.

Oh well, at least we got some funny-assed shirts.

On cake and turning 18 years old

I've been waiting to write this post for a couple of reasons. Mostly because Bill has no sense of humor over that which I'm about to write while I find it hilarious.

I don't really want to piss him off. So in the interest of being fair, I'm asking for you to judge for yourself if I'm being overly picky or he's overly ... uh, ... I'm totally going to get myself into trouble with this post, so let's just get to it, shall we?

Last Friday was my stepson's 18th birthday. Yep Sean's 18.

We were planning to have him over for dinner and give him his gifts Friday after work.

Bill volunteered to go to the store and order a cake for Sean all by himself.

I was suspect, but because I'm so swamped these days, I restrained my OCD-self and let me do it. But not without discussing it first:

Bill: I'm going to order Sean's cake. What should I get on it?

Me: Get him an adult cake. No SpongeBob or anything. He's an adult now.

Bill: Yeah, I'll get him something cool.

Me: Get him something adult ... and normal. He's an adult now.

Bill: I know. I know.

When I got home Friday, I saw the massive cake box on the counter.

Bill had ordered an entire sheet cake. Not a quarter or even a half, an entire sheet.

Good thing I like cake.

Then I opened the box.

Oh man.

Do you see it?

Here's a closer look at the guy on the cake:

Does that look like an 18-year-old kid to you in any way?

Because to me that looks like a middle-aged, beer-bellied, balding guy lying on a couch drinking a beer and holding a remote control.

But I've been accused of picking apart the details of the figurine and that this balding, fat guy is totally appropriate for an 18-year-old kid.

I guess if you want the message on his 18th birthday to be: "It's all down hill from here." It totally works.

Really though, I do have to take some of the blame for the balding, fat man drinking a beer adorning my stepson's cake. I did say to Bill to get Sean an "adult cake" without providing any other specifics, like "appropriate for an 18 year old" or "not sad and defeating."

I mean what really did I expect Bill to get?

Sometimes, I'm really slow.