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My kid started kindergarten last August — it has been a roller coaster ride to say the least.

She is a very bright and very precocious child. She has been doing very well academically so far this year. Her behavior ... well, that's another matter altogether.

She went through a period in which she was getting time-outs daily at both school and her daycare. Mostly her problem was that she was talking and horsing around instead of doing her work. We took this very seriously and tried in several different ways to get her to understand the importance of being a good student and learning as much as she can.

Since returning to school after winter break, her behavior has been very good (knock on wood).

Today, as I stood waiting for her to come out school, I saw that the other kids had what appeared to be report cards (really they are report sheets of pink paper).

When she saw me, Wee One screamed, "Mama!" and quickly attached her little self to my left leg. I scooped her up in my arms and carried her to the car.



It was one of those moments where we were both so happy to see each other; like it had been 4 years instead of 4 hours since we'd been together. I always make sure to savor these moments; these times when the connection between mother and daughter is all encompassing and pure and better than I could have ever imagined.

On the drive to her daycare, I attempted the very dangerous multi-task: I tried to read her report card and drive the car without killing myself, my kid or anyone having this misfortune to be driving or walking within a 2 block radius of my car.

By the time I had dropped her at daycare and returned home, I had perused the document completely twice.

There are 47 areas upon which she was assessed using the following criteria: Demonstrates Consistently (the highest mark given), Progressing, Needs Improvement and lastly, Needs More Time and Help to Develop (the lowest level of achievement).

She earned 27 of the highest marks, Demonstrates Consistently.
She was considered to be Progressing in 13 areas.
And in 5 areas she was found to be Needing Improvement.
There were no Need More Time and Help to Develop marks.

I should start by saying that I am very pleased that she earned the highest mark in more than 60 percent of the areas.

It's those Needs Improvement marks that draw concern.

Not because I don't think she can improve. I know she will be printing her last name better and use capitalization and punctuation soon. Those two areas are easy to address.

It's the other three Need Improvement areas that cause the worry lines to deepen and the grey hairs to reproduce like bunnies hopped up on Viagra.

The very first assessment area on the report card: "Shows self-control." Wee One's very first report card assessment: "Need Improvement."

Despite the fact that I was a very good student, I can attest that self-control has never been tops on my list of positive personality traits ... I don't think it even scores in the top 50 on Uber-husband's. Can parents who lack self-control teach it to their child? At this point, I think we can safely say No. But there's always hope, eh?

Neither am I surprised by the Needs Improvement in working and playing well with others. She Bossy the cow, fer reals.

It's the last area that Needs Improvement that horrifies me the most: Keeps hands and feet to self.

'the hell? She's one of those kids? You know the ones, all touchy-grabby with their little kid hands and feet getting all up in everyone else's business. Yikes!

So now I am saddled with how to teach a bossy kid with no self-control to keep her hands and feet to herself.

Do they have special summer camps for kids who are impulsive, who don't understand personal space and want to tell everyone else what to do?

I'm gonna check with Google.