Baby craziness

Even though they are tiny beings, babies require a whole lotta baby crap.
The people who make baby stuff spend a lot of time coming up cool stuff to sell to gullible parents with too much money and not enough sense.

Check it:
This a high chair ... for feeding a baby.

This is way cooler than the white plastic monstrosity we had for Mar when she was a tiny nut.

I think it looks way cool. But the thing about babies is that they are only babies for a short period of time. So as cool as this space-aged baby pod is, it's usefulness is limited to the time that you actually have a baby person to put in it.

But still, way cool ... except for one thing, the price tag.

$570.

Yeah, five-hundred and seventy dollars.

'the hell? Who in the name of all things groovy and orange would pay $570 for a high chair.

People who have their babies encrusted with diamonds, I guess. Oh and Angelina Jolie, but she got hers in black, of course.

Aw, look. It's a floppy elephant.

Yeah, $36 ... for a half-stuffed elephant with it's eyes closed. 'the hell?

What about this flaccid pachyderm is worth $36? Yeah, I just don't get it. It doesn't even have its eyes open, people. It's asleep — forever.

So yeah, I was cruising around the baby-stuff world today looking at baby stuff. My friend, who actually has a baby (unlike me who is just distracted by the world of the Internets) is in the market for something to act as a substitute for her pillow.

Her baby wants to sleep on her pillow. All the people who make up the rules for what you are and are not supposed to do with babies say you can't let them have a pillow. I don't know, something about suffocation or something.

Anyway I found this:
It's listed as a "cotton baby pillow."

Because I'm a total anal retent, I wanted to learn if it was approved for use with a baby. This is the description below the picture (completely unedited):

"100% cotton. Delivery from writhing one day. For Asia. Nice and more conferrable. This product use full for couple."

What a useful description, don't you think?

Man, this will deliver you from writhing one day. Because I totally need to be delivered from writhing at some undetermined point in the future.

And it's nice and more conferrable. What more could you want in a pillow afterall?

But what does "this product use full for couple" mean? Why would you want to use it empty? It's a pillow. It it were empty it would be a flour sack. 'the hell?
This is a latex pillow. Here is the description:

"Our products are manufactured with pure latex solely from super-clean and unadulterated natural rubber latex from the trees."

Yes, because I must have only super-clean natural latex directly from the trees. I won't abide any adulterated hothouse latex coming from sickly bushes.

And lastly, the velvet quilt:
"Elegant and having good hand feel."

Don't say, "good hand feel."