On the road

Lookit that face ... it smacks of desperation, doesn't it?

That's the face of a man who's firmly entrenched in a war with his bladder. The whole ride home from Denver Sunday, Bill kept having to pee really bad all of a sudden.

This one happened just as we were getting into Glenwood Springs and we were able to make it to the KFC you see in the distance.

But the worst episode happened just as we were getting to the Eisenhauer Tunnel. For those unfamiliar with Colorado geography and highways, Eisenhauer Tunnel is bored through the highest point of Interstate 70 as you cross the Rocky Mountain Continental Divide. It's a long tunnel and there isn't anywhere — either before or immediately after the tunnel — to pull over.

Before we entered the tunnel, Bill started complaining about having to "go." It got so bad that I had to hold an empty water bottle for him while he drove and relieved himself at the same time.

I laughed so hard that Margaret tore off her headphones and demanded to know what was so funny. I gave my standard reply, "Your daddy's really funny."

The worst part was we ended up with a almost full bottle of man pee. The idea that it was in the car really grossed me out and I had to gag a little. But I just diverted my attention and tried to forget that sitting in the cup holder just to the left of the gear shift was a water bottle full of human urine.

I suggested that he throw the bottle out of the window, but we both agreed that ... well, that just ain't right. So we drove for another 45 minutes or so until he needed to pee yet again and it was disposed of properly.

The good news is that he's back to normal now ... well, as normal as Bill can be — and that's not really saying much.