Giant Pencil update

You may remember (and if you do, I'm so very sorry) back last November, I introduced y'all to the Giant Pencil.

For those that don't (and I'm assuming it's all of you), while in Washington, D.C. in October, my mom bought me a giant pencil from the National Archives to replace my Wee Pencil (why yes, I do have issues. I can't believe you've waited this long to ask). I've been using this pencil every day at work to ... uh, do work and to do the daily crossword puzzle (speaking of crossword puzzles, "deke" is a stupid word).

The Giant Pencil started out 16" long.

Look at it now:

It's now down around 8". It hardly even looks like a freakish long pencil anymore. But I know it once was. And someday it'll be a wee pencil ... unless something bad happens.

I've already had to perform some minor surgery on the Giant Pencil because the eraser snapped off one day.

Just so you know, I can't use a pencil that is missing it's eraser. Really (I know, my issues run deep), I have to keep a separate eraser on my desk so I can erase without having to use the eraser on my pencil.

So, Giant Pencil lost its eraser and I started to panic. Then I found a long pin and stuck it though the top of the eraser down into the wood to secure it. Phew! Disaster averted.

Anyway, now, more than seven months into my usage of the Giant Pencil, it's down to almost half its size. Giant Pencil is now more of a regular pencil ... with a giant pin stuck in its eraser.

I think I need more hobbies.

Introducing the Giant Pencil

Giant Pencil!

Giant Pencil!

I used to have the wee pencil. Now I have the a giant pencil.



My mom bought me my giant pencil at the National Archives right after we saw the Magna Carta, the Bill of Rights, the Constitution and the Declaration of Independence.

I know! We're so patriotic.

And because of that I'm going to chronicle the life and ever-shrinking times of my giant pencil.

Today the giant pencil is 16 inches (for reference the wee pencil is 1-3/4").

Long live the giant pencil!

Giant Pencil ain't so giant anymore

Look at my not-so Giant Pencil.



It's down to 5" from its original 16" from a year ago. It's on the verge of wee-ness.

I should not be surprised by this considering I use this pencil everyday at work, including when I use it to do the crossword puzzle?

What?

It's not wasting time at work, people, it's quality control.

Anyway, we're going back to D.C. next month and I'll make sure to get another Giant Pencil. I'll call the new Giant Pencil, Giant Pencil, Jr. or Giant Pencil V.2 or Another Giant Pencil and it will be glorious.

Saying goodbye

It's never easy to say goodbye, but sometimes you just have to know when to let go.

Now is that time ... mostly because I can't hold on any more.

It's gotten way too small.

And I can't fit it into the pencil sharpener any more.



So today, I'm saying goodbye to my wee pencil, my dear tiny pencil that I've had for many months.

And because the thought of using another pencil is just ... too ... painful, I've decided against getting a new one.

Well, I have to have a pencil (I mean, it's not like I can write on my calendar in ink, can I? Puh-leeez.), but my new pencil is blue.




It makes the pain a little more bearable.

Coming to an end

I guess it's appropriate that as the year is closing change is afoot.

Sometimes it's hard to let go. But what remains is that the only certainty is change. It doesn't matter how much you give love, attention, affection, adoration ... sometimes you just have to let go.

But, 2010 is around the corner and new challenges are on the horizon.

It is with sadness and remorse that I wish the old goodbye, adieu, so long ... I wish you didn't have to go. But I understand it's time. Time for change. Time for new adventures.

And, remarkably, I'm OK with it.

So without further ado, I bid farewell:

Farewell Once-Giant Pencil/Now-Wee Pencil.

But fear not, for I have but a new giant pencil which I am calling Giant Pencil, Too.

The Giant Pencil is dead!
Long live the Giant Pencil, Too.

Update on the Giant Pencil

On Nov. 3, I introduced you all to the Giant Pencil (imagine that being said through a grand megaphone — Giant, iant, iant, iant Pencil, encil, encil, encil!).

It's been almost two months, so let's check in with me Giant Pencil (imagine that being said with an Irish accent).

The giant pencil is now 13-1/2" — down from it's original 16".

That's 1-1/4" a month.

At this rate, I'll need a new Giant Pencil (imagine that being said however you want) before Christmas!

My neurosis: The evidence

This is the pencil that I use everyday at work.

It is wee.

It is hard to write using this wee pencil and even harder to sharpen.

No, I will not use another pencil — even though a co-worker gave me a blue-leaded pencil to use ... oooohhhha, blue lead.

I will not be swayed by blue lead.

My wee pencil is just fine.

I'm pretty sure I should go seek mental-health care now.

It's still getting smaller

About a month ago, I wrote about my wee pencil. It was about 15 picas then.

It's just over 12 picas now.
Last time I sharpened it, I had to stick a push pin into the eraser so I could fit it into the sharpener.

I think that fact perfectly describes me — willing to go to extraordinary lengths for only the most inane reasons.

Welcome to my short-penciled world.

Losing rank

So I wrote yesterday about our dazzling third-place victory/loss at Geek Who Drink.

I was wrong.

We didn't come in third even though we took the prize and spent it on deep fried things.

No, we came in not-even-close-to-kissing-your-sister fourth place.

There was an error in the scores. You can see more pictures from Tuesday and read about how we lost dismally over here.

Fourth.

Whatever.

I'm over it.

I mean who cares?

Look at my tiny pencil.

Unexpected

There was a box on our porch yesterday when I got home from work. It was from my mom.

It isn't any one's birthday, so I wasn't expecting anything from my folks. Needless to say, my curiosity was piqued. I only had a couple of minutes until I had to pick up Mar from school, so I opened the box quickly.

It was a lovely surprise.

For Margaret, my mom had sent these items:
This was not the first time I've seen these things, as they used to mine when I was Margaret's age. I used to carry that box full of Hello Kitty items back and forth to school everyday.

I remember the statuette claiming I was the "World's Greatest Student" sitting on the shelf in my perpetually messy room. I remember losing the pin to the hinge of my Hello Kitty pencil sharpener and replacing it with a straight pin from sewing box. I remember the thin red tape that used to be dispensed from the tiny tape dispenser. Oh, those fond childhood memories.

It made me think about saving Margaret's toys and loved objects in order to give to her daughter some day. (But if that's going to happen, I'm going to have to get more organized. Doh!)

Also in the box, was a Loki jacket Bill and I gave to my dad last year. Apparently it never fit him right and instead of it living out its days hanging unworn in his closet, they gave it to Bill. He felt guilty about keeping it — but I could tell he was secretly thrilled to have it.

There was also a small box for me with a note disclaiming that I would wear the item as a bracelet or I could use the beads to decorate something else. This is what I found inside that little box:
I've said many times before that my mom knows everything, including just the things to make an otherwise bleak day, one full of delighted smiles.

Profiles of our friends

There is a wall in our house that we've designated as the "height wall." We mark Margaret's height as she's grown.

And because we've never completely grown up ourselves, we've marked our heights, too ... along with the height of anyone who happens to enter our house.

This would be a great place to put the photo I don't have of the height wall.

As soon as someone new comes into our house, I command them, "Take off your shoes and come with me." Then they must stand, flat-footed, chin-parallel to the ground, while I measure them and mark their height with a pencil.

It's actually been quite revealing. Some people seem taller then they actually are, some shorter. There's a huge cluster of people that fall into the average 5'6" to 5'10" range. There are a few guys that are taller and a couple women that are shorter. But most everyone is in that average range.

If you want to hang in Chez Dorkus, you have to follow the rules (unless you really don't want to and that's fine, too — we're easy).

So, last Friday night I decided it was profile picture day. Meaning that I took everyone's (who was willing — I don't want to be that person that forces those camera-shy folks into posing uncomfortably) picture in profile.

And here they are:








What a lovely bunch of coconuts, eh?