Right turn to heaven

My kid goes to a Christian daycare/preschool/place they watch kids while their good-for-nothing moms work.

The school is on a busy street. As you exit the parking lot, there is a right-turn only sign.

I turn left out of that parking lot each and every day.

I never even think twice about making that ill-advised left turn. I turn with carefree abandon. I never even think about the posted right-turn only "suggestion."

Me, the heathen mom, flaunting the rules of the church to whom I entrust the care of my only -begottten daughter — whodathunkit?

I can imagine the knowing smirks of the good Christian moms as they gently nudge their white Dodge Caravans into the aforementioned right turn. "That dressed-in-black mom, driving her all-black SUV, throwing all of God's commandments and traffic signs to the wind ... yeah, she's going to hell for sure," they muse to themselves, Jesus-fish placards shining on the back of their minivans.

Hell — it's where I'll be in the afterlife.