Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Tuesday randomness

Great Memorial Day weekend — except for the part where some asshat set fire to my neighbor's garage causing it and the garage next to it to burn to the mofo ground.

Instead of retelling my stories of riding my bike with my drunk friends at night during which time no one peed in the middle of the street and/or ran into a closed gate at full speed (I, of course, was not drunk), I thought I'd just post some random thoughts.

What? It's my blog. Get your own blog if you have a different story to tell.

So here are some random things that I have probably already twittered:

  • Mar to Bill: Are people born goth or is it a choice?
  • No one will sell you sod on Sunday, even if you have already rototilled your entire yard.
  • Squatting down to move and level patio pavers will totally give your inner thighs a killer work out. I'm still walking like I spent the weekend on a horse. 'the hell?
  • I heard on NPR this morning that to test the nose of a drug-sniffing dog, a DEA agent put a brick of weed in some unassuming traveler's bag. The dog didn't sniff out the drugs and the agent forgot which bag he put the marijuana in.
  • I said bad words several times in front of my dear friend's tiny Mormon nephew, but I figured it was OK because his uncle dropped him on his head — on the concrete — leaving a big, red welt. My words left no noticeable mark on the child. We'll see what happens later when he drops a mofo bomb on his nice parents.
  • I lied in my last post when I said I wasn't drunk in that picture of me lying on my back porch talking on my cell phone.
  • Just kidding, I wasn't drunk. I was — and still am — stoopit. And just enjoy making people laugh at my own and other's expense.

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