Instead of retelling my stories of riding my bike with my drunk friends at night during which time no one peed in the middle of the street and/or ran into a closed gate at full speed (I, of course, was not drunk), I thought I'd just post some random thoughts.
What? It's my blog. Get your own blog if you have a different story to tell.
So here are some random things that I have probably already twittered:
- Mar to Bill: Are people born goth or is it a choice?
- No one will sell you sod on Sunday, even if you have already rototilled your entire yard.
- Squatting down to move and level patio pavers will totally give your inner thighs a killer work out. I'm still walking like I spent the weekend on a horse. 'the hell?
- I heard on NPR this morning that to test the nose of a drug-sniffing dog, a DEA agent put a brick of weed in some unassuming traveler's bag. The dog didn't sniff out the drugs and the agent forgot which bag he put the marijuana in.
- I said bad words several times in front of my dear friend's tiny Mormon nephew, but I figured it was OK because his uncle dropped him on his head — on the concrete — leaving a big, red welt. My words left no noticeable mark on the child. We'll see what happens later when he drops a mofo bomb on his nice parents.
- I lied in my last post when I said I wasn't drunk in that picture of me lying on my back porch talking on my cell phone.
- Just kidding, I wasn't drunk. I was — and still am — stoopit. And just enjoy making people laugh at my own and other's expense.