Those are my supa-cool friends, Special K (she just got tenure at the college here. She totally rocks and is way smart. Plus she has better socks and sunglasses then anyone I know) and Markel (I love Markel despite his yeasty eye).Markel left this comment on Wednesday's entry (you know the one where I talk about lesbian porn):
All men (and women) should be freed from the shackles of this manufacured holiday. Kristen's dad & stepmom have this fully locked down...they call Valentines Day "Amateur Night" and go out the weekend after for a fabulous meal. As a general rule the likker tab must exceed the food tab.
Plus, as it's celebrated in the US, it's a pretty one-sided affair with guys on the short end of that stick.
MEN! BEHOLD! Steak and Blowjob Day can be ours! http://www.steakandbjday.com/
Yeah, so Steak & BJ Day. Huh. That's quite a marketing concept, eh?
Maybe next year for Valentine's Day instead of lesbian porn, I'll get Bill this bumper sticker:
Blow jobs aside, I think the problem with Valentine's Day is just as Markel suggests, it's too one-sided. By the dictates of this made up holiday, men are supposed to shower the object of their desires with love 'n' stuff on this one day, to hell with the rest of the year.
It's a holiday that is just ripe for satire. And the really fun, smart people do just that.
These are the cards that were exchanged between Markel and Special K:
Markel's "Bee Mine" homemade, clip-art card was inspired by a Simpson's episode.
According to Markel, K was inspired to purchase her doily-esque declaration of love while at the grocery store on Valentine's Day. Apparently the scene of desperate men frantically snatching up sappy, overblown cards and stale candy warmed the cockles of her heart.
I mean, come on, nothing says "I love you" like doilies and blow jobs.
6 comments:
Man - I thought Ralph's card was "Bee Mine" not "Let's Bee Friends". It's made my Valentine's Day experience less valid somehow. [;o)
Dan Save of "Savage Love" fame was interviewed for an article in last week's The Onion A.V. Club. It starts off with his take on the holiday then he brings up Steak & BJ Day.
March 14 - Girls, mark your calendars. Men love a thick ribeye with some really good beer or wine followed by a good hummer. This can all easily be accomplished at home - no need to go pay quadruple at a restaurant. This also facilitates relaxation and pantlessness.
Here's the article, which goes on to be a bit of a meditation on sexuality in the US.
http://www.avclub.com/content/node/45150
Good news!! Special K will bee mine again this year! Normally I give her "I choo-choo choose you" and am always successful with that as well.
To those men who fared less successfully this year, take comfort in the wise words of Jay-Z:
If you're having girl problems
I feel bad for you son
I got 99 problems
But a bitch ain't one
Hit Me!
Oh no. A typo! I shall smite you with an Easy Bake Oven cake.
Uh...that "Dan Savage" not "Dan Save". That's a giant typo right there.
I shall be smoten with a queasy bake? That's one of my preferred methods of death...like being chased off a cliff by naked women (from Monty Python's The Meaning of Life) or dying "in the saddle."
Hey...beats the shit outta a heart attack.
Or dying in a bar fight or in an accident on a fishing boat or in a coal mine explosion.
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